Squeaky Wheel

    I am really lucky in that I have always been able to get away with saying things that others either can't or won't. When I was a high school student, our class secretary came up to me and said that, in the space of one week, our class budget had dropped by $1000-1500. She and I went in to the office to speak with the superintendent about what had happened. I looked him in the eye and said, "I consider that money that you stole from us." He needed to know I meant business. I don't fully remember this instance, but Khara always tells me about a time in our African American literature class in which a class member explained that he understood how the protagonist of our novel felt because he too was part of a minority group. I simply asked him what minority group he was a part of....well, I asked, "You're a straight, blonde haired, blue eyed Nazi dream child, what minority group are you a part of?" He was (and presumably still is) a militant atheist. (Yeah, I don't consider that a minority group either, but, whatever). I wasn't saying that he was, in fact, a Nazi-though, I have my suspicions-I was just saying that he is very clearly a member of the majority, so how did he define himself as a minority. I once told a co-worker of mine who was wearing a jean skirt that she looked like a Duggar. She laughed, we bantered, and she walked off. (Another co-worker tried to make a similar statement, but they lacked my charisma and it backfired in a big way).
   I just don't believe in holding back. I don't ever want to hurt anyone's feelings. Well, okay, I didn't care if I hurt that one guy's feelings from graduate school-he was a tool. I just get tired that people are tip-toeing around the real issues. People are so afraid to state what they mean outright. I hate when you can't tell where you stand with people. You always know with me. You always know how I feel about things. I don't believe in flowery language when I write or when I speak. I often feel like people who say a lot are trying to hide the fact that they're not really saying anything at all. (Read anything by Nathaniel Hawthorne and you'll understand). I am also irritated when people in the workplace decry the lack of communication, but they won't tell management-or even their coworkers-when they have an issue. You can't complain about the lack of communication if you won't communicate. I know that I have overstepped my bounds A LOT, but I'd rather be disciplined for trying to fix a problem than contributing to it.
   That is why, when given the opportunity to speak with management or to give my opinion, I speak freely. I speak respectfully-I mean I was raised right-but I also don't sit on information that I think they either don't want to hear or won't pay attention to. Because, if I have said to management, "Look, we here see these issues," and nothing happens, then at least I know I've brought it to their attention. I did what I can do to try to fix something. I'm not complaining without trying to change things. The most recent example of this is when, as part of an advisory board, my group and I had planned to bring someone in to the workplace to put on a presentation for our coworkers. However, we learned that there was already going to be a presentation on the same information and decided to scrap ours and go in a different direction. Instead, our most senior manager told us that the presentation would go on and be a part of a lunchtime presentation that our group had already expressed we felt did not work. I suggested to the group leader that we go speak with our manager and explain why we felt that this was not a good idea. She disagreed and I fell in line. But, when we were asked to provide questions or a question and answer segment at our next advisory board meeting, I asked why our senior manager had wanted the presenter to provide the lunchtime presentation even though he would have a distracted audience and a much more limited time-frame.
   I would have rather have been able to go into a meeting with her and our group leader and say, "Look, I understand that you want this person to present, but it would be a waste of his time to put on a lunchtime presentation where people are eating and coming and going instead of listening to him and all the knowledge he holds." However, the leader felt that saying something would not help and that we should do what the senior manager wanted. Yet, I had the opportunity to go into a meeting with the senior manager and one other person (who introduced me like she wouldn't know who I was) and the first thing we talked about was my question and how she UNDERSTOOD MY POINT AND THAT IT WAS NOT THE BEST IDEA! That tells me two things: 1) she knows who I am and she remembers me and 2) I made her think. I didn't walk in and say, "This is stupid and you're an idiot and this will never work!" I was respectful and said, "Here's why I think this." Don't get me wrong, I have told people I think things are stupid (cough, logging telephone calls, cough), but as many people have told me, when you do that, it puts people on the defensive.
   As we talked more and more during the meeting, I saw where she envisioned our group going. She also suggested a newsletter that I might be interested in reading which I took her up on. There was a give and take. At one point, I could see that she and the other meeting person were tip-toeing around saying what we were all thinking so I said, "To be completely blunt, it's much easier to complain about things than to fix them." (Yeah, ponder that bit of wisdom). So, we then talked about the fact that, if you are going to raise an issue to management, you should also come with solutions. Because, even if those solutions aren't the greatest, it shows that you've thought it out. And you're not just complaining to complain. It was a really good experience. It was also a productive meeting. Because the senior manager was able to see that I wasn't hiding behind email to call her on something, I wasn't coming to her and saying "fix this" and I was able to listen and have a conversation with her, she can now see that I'm a rational, thinking person who wants to fix what's broken by also putting in the work. And all of that happened because I opened my big mouth. I have very rarely ever regretted something I said-again, because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or shame someone-but I have regretted NOT saying something. And I'll be darned if I leave this world without people remembering what I had to say.